Have you ever walked up a set of stairs backwards? Most of you would probably claim that you haven’t. I admit, it would be a strange sight. There are other things we try to do backwards in our lives that are almost as strange. This reflection is about one of them: we so often try to find joy, by walking backwards. We try climbing to greater heights by looking backwards. This is why I wanted you to think for a moment about trying to climb a flight of stairs backwards. The focus for today’s reflection is about the correct way to walk up those stairs; how to reach the joy which awaits us at the top of the stairs.
A week ago we celebrated the joy of Easter, the joy of the risen Christ. The question is: Do you still feel that joy? For some, it may be another question: Have I ever truly felt the joy of Easter? For many of us this is the season of new beginnings. Spring is associated with birth, with new buds and flowers. With happiness. But for others, we look around us and all we can really say is “April fool!” We can be caught up not by the joy of blue skies and pink azaleas but rather by fears and doubts.
Fears and doubts are all around us. When you think about our national economy, are you concerned about how safe your money is in your bank? If you leave your house, are you afraid some teenagers will come into your home looking for easy items to carry off so they can support their drug addiction? At the same time, are you really all that comfortable when you think of the next air trip you must take? Will it be sky-jacked by terrorists? Will there be a bomb in the cargo compartment? Will the wings fall off even if there are no terrorist attempts? Our modern life is filled with fears and doubts. It can be difficult, indeed, to retain any level of joy about anything, let alone a joy about the risen Christ.
Some two thousand years ago, in a large city in the Middle East, a group of peasants were huddled together. These fishermen, tax collectors and reformed women of the streets were gathered behind locked doors. They did not worry about money in the bank. They were not concerned about having their meager possessions stolen. Their friend and companion had been killed by the authorities. Every sound in the street below made them uneasy. Like many people in Latin America or in Africa or the Middle East of today, these men and women feared for their own lives; that they would be the next ones to be taken out, given a mock trial, and put to death.
We know the story so well. We have heard it so often. How, suddenly, Jesus stood in their midst. Can we really imagine the madness, the turmoil of that meeting? How would you react if a loved one who had died, suddenly entered your dining room late at night? I don’t think your first response would be joy. Mine would be outright fear. Is it no wonder that the first words Jesus spoke were: “Peace be with you.” Jesus, who knew his friends so well, gave immediate comfort to them. It is then, with his peace upon them and in him, that they could set aside their fears and now rejoice. Their fear became peace. Their peace became their joy. And that is the way to climb the stair. One needs to begin with peace. Only then can anyone find joy.
It sounds so easy, doesn’t it: from peace comes joy. Yet it is so difficult to do. It calls for further reflection. It calls for Thomas and the second week. Again you know the story. You heard it once more, only a few minutes ago: how Thomas was not there when Jesus first appeared to the other disciples. How he doubted what they had to tell him about the appearance of their master. How Thomas wanted direct physical proof of the risen Jesus.
The story goes on. “A week later, the disciples were once more in the room, and this time Thomas was with them. Despite the locked doors, Jesus came and stood before them.” I ask you, did you notice that the doors were locked the second time Jesus came to them? We sometimes like to think that once Jesus appeared and had breathed upon them, the disciples became fearless. But it didn’t work out that way. They were still in fear. The doors were still locked. The joy of last week had dissipated. They were right back where they were before he had come to them.
Perhaps we can take heart from this observation. We may have been caught up in the joy of Easter last week. We hoped that this joy would continue to be with us. Now a week after Easter, all that remains are stale jelly beans and a few broken bits of a chocolate bunny. The true joy of meeting the risen Christ has melted away. It would seem that the disciples may have suffered the same post-Easter reaction. When Jesus left them, they began to leave him, again.
And so we return to Thomas. To a friend of Jesus. A friend who needed proof. When Jesus did appear, when Thomas did see him, Thomas did not need to touch his hands and his side. Merely upon seeing him, Thomas’s immediate response was: “My Lord and my God.” His belief led to peace and his peace became joy. That is the way to climb the stairs.
Like Thomas, we need to work on our doubts and our fears. When I am joyous it is easy for me to have no doubts and fears. What I struggle to remember is that post-resurrection joy can be very fleeting. The joy of Christ’s salvation comes from my peace; and my peace comes from my faith in his goodness. His resurrection joy is not a magical gift he bestows. The gifts he gives are rather the gifts of faith, of trust, of hope. From these come his peace; and from his peace, comes the joy of Easter.
His followers learned that trust and hope, faith and belief are essential. The conclusion of today’s reading and that of John’s gospel from which this reading is taken says: “Jesus performed many other signs as well … signs not recorded here … in the presence of his disciples. But these have been recorded to help you believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, so that through this faith you may have life in his name.”
In order to believe, humans have always demanded signs and wonders. Our first reading from the Acts of the Apostles begins by saying: “Through the hands of the apostles, many signs and wonders occurred among the people.” It goes on: “The people carried the sick into the streets and laid them on cots and mattresses, so that when Peter passed by, at least his shadow might fall on one or another of them.”
Yet, these same people still had their fears. This same reading tells how the disciples gathered now in public at the place in the temple called “Solomon’s portico”. Yet, it goes on to say: “no one else dared to join them, despite the fact that the people held them in great esteem.” Even signs and wonders do not eradicate fear. The people came for cures but were still afraid to appear in public with the followers of the risen Christ. Once more it would seem that only trust drives out fear. That belief leads to peace. And from this peace, comes joy. It is not, however, signs and wonders which lead us to trust and to believe. Rather it is the help of others. I began by asking if you have ever climbed a set of stairs backwards. Your first response probably was that you would never do anything as silly as that. Yet many of us have tried to do just that: walk up a flight of stairs backwards – while holding onto a bulky piece of furniture, with a friend down below, holding onto the other end.
When I have done that, I trust that the friend will not let go of the furniture. That I will be guided carefully by my friend. I trust my friend will help me and not cause me to move too fast or too slow. Often, however, I don’t climb backwards with my load. Instead, I turn around so I can see where I am going. Even then, if I should turn around and carry my load behind me, I trust that my friend who helps me carry my load is still with me. I continue to trust, to believe in my friend even when I can’t see him. I know he’s still there, with me; helping me to reach the top of the stairs. Somehow, as you climb your own stairs to reach the joy that awaits you, you believe your friend is right there with you, every step of the way.
Second Sunday of Easter; April 2, 1989
Acts 5:12-16; Rev 1:9-11, 12-13, 17-19; Jn 20:19-31