The Engagement

Karen was supposed to visit me during my first “Fall Weekend” at Cornell but did not because of the changes in the campus policies for the weekend. We planned that she would visit at the beginning of the year, with the unstated expectation that she would be presented with an engagement ring during our time together. The planning, however, included a little collegiate subterfuge.

She was living in her sorority house at the time. Kent State had restrictive policies regarding any absence during this era of well-controlled student life. She would not be able to “sign-out” for a weekend at Cornell. However, she could stay with a friend living in Kent before boarding the train for Ithaca. The plan would have worked. I already had purchased the ring. But a slight problem occurred.

Late on the afternoon she was to leave Kent, I became increasingly concerned about a rash I had been noticing over the past few days. At the time, Cornellians were being diagnosed with cases of German Measles. To be on the safe side, I thought I might make a quick visit to the University Infirmity to confirm that my concerns held no weight; I was being my usual hypochondriac self. Instead, my self-diagnosis was confirmed: I did have German Measles! I was allowed one telephone call before being consigned to a bed in the facility.

I called the AXO House in Kent, but Karen had already signed out for her overnight stay with her local friend. I had to leave a message that I was confined to the Infirmary with measles and her trip would need to be postponed. I hoped she would believe the message and not think she was being “pranked.” She believed; I scratched.

Several weeks later, I managed to schedule a visit to Kent for a weekend. It was then that I formally proposed, and she accepted me and the engagement ring as we sat on our favorite bench on the front campus.

There were two minor problems we encountered during this otherwise, joyous time. As usual, I was late in meeting with her. She never was able to understand how I could drive for more than eight hours and arrive “on time,” but could not meet her when we had scheduled a specific time, once I was in town. Actually, the problem has remained for the last six decades! I still have difficulty being present (or being able to leave) when she is ready to go. Karen is consistently early and on-time; I now tend to be consistently present “exactly” on-time, but never early. It took me years to be able to adapt to this “compromise.”

The second problem was one of communication. I waited until the following week, when I made my semi-routine call to my mother, to inform her that Karen and I were formally engaged. In the meantime, Karen’s mother had called my mother to ask for the addresses of those who should receive wedding invitations. I’m not sure Karen and I had discussed the date for this event, but Mrs. Swank wanted to be prepared!

I do not recall how the final date was finally agreed upon. Karen’s sister, Tami, had also become engaged to Ken Crain. Mr. Swank indicated he was prepared for only one wedding per year. If Karen and Tami were to be married in the same year, there must be a double wedding. This became the final result. G.J. walked down the aisle twice on the same day: June 22, 1958.

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