Change comes about gradually. Encouragement for change also comes from a spectrum of people rather than from a specific guru. In fact, I would doubt the permanency of change resulting from the influence of only one human person, no matter how insightful that one might be. We are the result of the influence of many people rather than of one outstanding exemplar. Rocks are worn down by a constant flow of water droplets. A torrent can toss them aside, move them to different locations and result in a catastrophe rather than in a long-lasting modification of shape and form.
Before meeting Steve LaBonte, I never knew there were such men as “Permanent Deacons” in the Catholic Church. I had heard of deacons and archdeacons in the historic church, in the early days of Christianity. But somehow, this reintroduction of a ministry resulting from the Second Vatican Council was not part of my personal experience. It was Deacon Steve, a newly ordained clerical member of CGS, who demonstrated to many of us what a true “servant” could be. In addition, Steve and his wife, Carol, were from Boston, and it was comforting to hear bean-town accents once again. My spiritual leaders now consisted of a trinitarian Fr. Ed, Deacon Steve and Sister Alice. They were augmented by the Associate Pastor, Fr. John Keller, and by others I encountered through “Good Shepherd.”
With their initial encouragement, I had attended that Marriage Encounter Weekend, had agreed to become, with Karen, a presenting-couple for other weekend retreats, and a willing participant in fellowship gatherings within the neighborhood where we lived. My interests were expanded by magnificent liturgical and social-justice leaders within the parish who were also well-known throughout the diocese. In some mystical way, Karen and I found ourselves to be part of one of the leading parishes of the Diocese of Galveston-Houston.
We were not alone. As a result of the encouragement present within the parish, five men (and their wives) entered the Permanent Diaconate program and were ordained four years later. Al and Pat O’Brien, John and Jan Charnisky, Barry and Kitty Beckman, and Bob and Beth DeGrave became our close friends during our years together at CGS and over the decades which led us to diverse paths in our worldly life and life-everlasting. The burial plot Karen and I purchased many years ago is close-by the one now occupied by Barry and Kitty.
Together we attended weekly classes on theology, scripture, ecclesiology, church history, and morality. We prayed together at monthly retreats at the Holy Name Passionist Retreat Center. We became listening hearts and open minds for one another. We shared hopes and dreams, along with the reality of raising families. Within the parish, Karen and I became involved as lectors and worship coordinators. Learning how to turn on the power for the lighting and sound systems in the church building can be as essential as learning how to pronounce Biblical names and locations.
The ten of us comprised a very special team that helped us in our mutual and overlapping ministries during the next decades. The five of us were joined by deacons who had preceded us at CGS (Steve LaBonte and Glen Cuiper) and those ordained shortly after us (John Rooney and Les Cooper). At formal, monthly meetings we shared what each of us had learned or experienced separately. But more important, we shared meals and laughter, a true fellowship. John Rooney, who was more adept spiritually than the rest of us, gave the neonate deacons instructions in how to participate, daily, in the Liturgy of the Hours, a feat that required tearfully confused lessons, but which I have continued to practice for almost a half-century.
However, the nine of us shared more than spiritual development. We even shared “white elephants” for Christmas exchanges. How else could Steve and Carol get rid of a huge, burnt orange overstuffed sofa that remained on our front porch for several days before we could have it hauled off for a proper burial? Not every change is a rapid one; getting rid of furniture and other burdens can, indeed, take time.