Today’s question is a two-parter. However, both are easy. The first one is: How many of you are parents? (Good.) The second one is: how many of you are children of parents? Well, if you answered “yes” to the first question, you may have an easier time following my homily for today. And if you didn’t respond with a “yes” to the second one, you might want to talk with a reporter for the “Enquirer” or another one of those tabloid newspapers. But for the rest of you, the focus for today’s reflection is on parental love: the love of a parent for a child. I really believe you need to be a parent before you can truly feel how a parent loves a child.
That certainly is the way it was for me. Like a lot of people, I never understood where my father was coming from until I became a father, myself. I doubt if my two sons really understood me, until they had their own children. At least, I hope they understand me a little bit better now. So what’s it like to be a parent? What do we want for our kids?
First of all: we simply want the “best” for them. Is there a parent who wants less than the “best” for the child? We would do practically anything to have them healthy and happy. In this country, the vast majority of parents tend to give their children not only what the kids “need”, but also what they “want”. Our modern advertising system recognizes this fact. We stock our cupboards with things they will eat, and we hope are good for them. We may complain that they stand too long with the refrigerator door open but at last what they finally take out is something we believe they should have.
We provide not only the “essentials” of life but often we respond to their “desires” as well. At the same time, we parents try to teach our children not to think that they can have everything they ask for. If we believe that a positive response to a request can be harmful or misused, as loving and concerned parents, we say things like: “no, you can’t have a hand-gun. No, you can’t go out driving at midnight.”
We listen constantly to their demands of: “Dad, can I have …” and “Mom, I just have to have …” However, even if we know what they want, what they think they need – or they will just up and die – even when we know what they will say, we still want to hear them ask for it. Perhaps for no better reason than to have our kids confirm to themselves, out loud, that this is really what they believe they need. For sometimes, it is only when we speak the words, that we truly know what these words mean and what we really want.
We parents try to give them what we think is best for them and we try to get them to understand just why it is the best for them, no matter how persistent they are in asking for something else. Persistence is one way to describe it. Other terms include “pleading” and “nagging.” They think they are breaking us down and finally getting their own way. They try to bargain with us. It’s a process we heard about in our readings for today.
In our first reading we heard how Abraham went “one-on-one” with God. Now here’s a question for you: do you think that Abraham changed God’s mind about how many innocent people were needed to save Sodom? Or do you think that God knew all along and wanted Abraham to know just how merciful he, himself, would be, given the chance? Was God willing right from the start, to save the entire city for the sake of the few innocent people that might live there, but he wanted Abraham to realize just how merciful the Lord God could be, if only Abraham showed his own mercy.
We are often told that this is a story of persistence and how persistence pays off. The same is true for the story we heard in today’s gospel reading. In that story the man was able to obtain bread from his sleepy friend because of his persistence in banging on the door. Yet, I wonder what would have happened if the man had gone to a stranger and not to the house of an established friend? Instead of receiving the food, would he have gotten a pot of water poured on his head? Is it not true that persistence with those who love us, has different results than persistence with those who have no regard for us?
At the beginning of today’s gospel reading, we found Jesus deep in prayer with God. He was relating to God in a very special way. His friends, who no doubt had often prayed to God as every good Jew prayed to God, they wanted to know what they should say to have a deeper relationship with their God. In response, Jesus taught them a new prayer, new words to express the relationship they could have with their God.
He began his prayer by saying: “Father”. He began by telling us that we should call our God by a name rich in ancient meanings – meanings which for many today, do not hold the same connotations. Many of us have not experienced the relationship offered by a loving father, a Daddy. Others find it offensive to refer to God only as “father” and say we should be willing to begin by saying: “our mother”. In some cultures, all of the attributes we once associated with the word, “father,” are found in the word “grandfather” and so for them, there may be a desire to begin our prayer by saying: “our grandfather”.
But in the long run, no matter what word we would prefer to use, Jesus reminds us that our God is a personal being, one who relates to us as a loving parent relates to a child. This is what I have been attempting to have us who are parents, who are fathers or mothers, who are biological or spiritual mothers or fathers – to have us remember. Just as we love our own children, so our God loves us. Just as we want the best for our children, our God wants the best for us.
And so, when we pray the words Jesus taught us, we pray to You, Our Father, the One who is above us yet who touches us with love as the sky touches the earth, present but unseen, who is with us no matter where we are. We know that You want only the best for us and that You, who can do everything, will do everything possible to help us; that each and every day, You will provide the strength, the sustenance, the food we need to survive this day.
We know that You want to help us and You want us to help others; that You want to heal us and You want us to heal others. We know that You will protect us from harm and help us to do all we can to avoid the harm we may bring upon ourselves by what we do or fail to do.
And yet our prayer does not end there. In today’s gospel, we are reminded that we need to be persistent. That we have friends who will help when we ask them for help. We are reminded that just as we don’t expect our own children to just sit back and be passive all their lives, we, ourselves, are to be active in accomplishing what needs to be done.
A few minutes ago, I asked if you are either a parent or the child of a parent. But here is an even greater question for you to consider: do you really believe that God is your own parent? That the power who created the sun and the stars is your father? That the one who gives life to all plants and animals is your mother? That the one who gives you, yourself, life and is your parent also gives life and love to the person sitting in front of you or beside you?
And if you can truly say that God relates to you and to everyone else as your mutual grandfather, your common grandmother; your own father, mother, parent; your guardian who nurtures you and wants only the best for you and for everyone who lives on this planet, if you can say “yes” to this question, then you are ready for the next one: can you change the mind of God? Or is it our task to change ourselves so that we can become what our parent knows we have the capability of becoming: true brothers and sisters; sons and daughters; children of the living God?
Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time; July 26, 1998
Gn 18;20-32; Col 2:12-14; Lk 11: 1-13: