(The first part of this homily of 2012 is identical to the one given in 1991 as “Oneness.” The ending changes to reflect this is beginning special seasons, “Respect Life Month” and the beginning of the 2012-13 “Year of Faith.” It might be interesting to note how the same scriptures may reflect differing conclusions!)
Today, I have a mathematical question for you. My question is this: How much is one plus one? Two, right? And how much is one times one? Of course, the answer is “one”. But why? Are there different kinds of “one”? Are there different “ones” when you add them together than when you multiply them? This leads me to the focus for today’s reflection: “oneness”.
We all seem to have a desire for “oneness.” Maybe it’s part of being human. After all, we begin our lives in absolute “oneness.” Biology teaches us we each begin as one, fertilized cell which divides to become two. The two cells divide to become four; the four, eight; and so on. We also know, in the beginning of our life, we were “one” with our mother. Our life in the womb was totally dependent upon her.
Developmentalists speak about how at birth, and in the days and weeks afterwards, we believe we are still one with our mother and with the universe around us. As we grow, we learn, much to our sorrow, we are separate. The mother who nourishes me, comforts me, protects me, is someone other than me, myself. Psychologists tell us our task throughout life is to seek what is called “individuation,” becoming my own person, establishing my own uniqueness, my own oneness separate from everyone else. And that’s when our problems begin.
Many of us like to be left “alone,” alone, so I can do my own thing, not be bothered by anyone else, free from the demands of others. Is there a teenager who has not said: “Leave me alone, I can handle it on my own? As adults, there are times when each of us likes being alone. However, none of us enjoys being “lonely.” In this difference, our problems become even more complicated. I want to be alone, but I don’t want to be lonely. I want to do my own thing, but I want help, too. I want to be in charge, but I want to feel protected.
I want my “oneness,” but I don’t want the kind of “oneness” I have. “[And] the Lord God said: ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.'” So, what did the Lord God do? “[He] formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man …. but none proved to be the suitable partner for the man.”
Yes, Adam was now surrounded by other living creatures and was no longer alone, but he was still lonely. He had not found a “suitable partner.” What happened next? With the help of God, Adam fell asleep. Adam gave up his control. He was totally at the mercy of the Lord God. And what gift did God bring to him? He brought a part of Adam to new life. He took what was vital to Adam, a rib. And from this rib, God created a suitable partner.
Adam immediately recognized he was no longer lonely. He saw this partner was “bone of my bone,” was as strong as he, himself was. He saw this partner was “flesh of my flesh” and was as weak as he, himself, was. For indeed, bone represents strength, and flesh represents weakness. Yes, here was his new partner who was identical to him in both strength and weakness. “[And] that is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one ….”
Many years later, the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus by their questions and show he did not support the commandments of God. They asked him if, according to the Law of Moses, [if] it was lawful for this oneness of husband and wife to be broken. Jesus’ response to them was to quote their scriptures: “… from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”
However, this passage in the Gospel of Mark concludes with what might seem to be a sudden leap to another topic. This passage about the oneness of husband and wife and their permanent union is immediately followed by a story about children – about how Jesus responded when he observed how his disciples were trying to keep children away from him. He reminded them: “Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it.”
Consider for a moment the good things about being a child. A child seems to have an innate sense of trust. A child lives for today, and does not worry about tomorrow. A child loves openly and holds no grudges. A child is able to forget and forgive. A child is not alone in the universe. A beloved child need not feel lonely. Is it any wonder Jesus said: “Whoever does not accept the Kingdom of God like a little child shall not enter into it.”
Each of us desires the oneness we once felt as a child. The oneness with the parents who loved and protected us. But what happens as we grow older? It’s then each of us seeks to be in control of what is going on around us. And having gained independence, we find it’s difficult to give up our control.
Today, many people say that as an individual, I need to be in charge of my life. I, alone, know what is best for me. Everyone has to do it my way, or it’s the highway. The only way I can establish my “oneness” is for me to control everything and everyone around me. But then, I learn this doesn’t work. I can’t control everything and everyone.
The result of my trying to control my life and the lives of others does not lead to happiness, to a sense of oneness with others or with the world in which I live. But what happens when I slowly recognize I, too, must be child-like? When I begin to trust. When I no longer worry about tomorrow. When I love openly and hold no grudges. When I forget and forgive. When I no longer feel alone in the Universe but exist with the protection and providence of God.
This weekend, with the first Sunday in October, the Church initiates “Respect Life Month” – a time to recall “God is Life” and human life begins in concert with the sacrament of matrimony in which a man and a woman unite in a covenant relationship with one another and with their God. It has been said the sacrament of Matrimony provides a husband and wife an opportunity for their mutual salvation, for their oneness with God. With this sacrament, a husband’s redemption becomes more readily possible because of his partnership with his wife. With this sacrament, a wife’s redemption becomes more readily possible because of her partnership with her husband. To obtain this salvation, to overcome our sense of loneliness, we need the faith to seek a mutual oneness with God and with others.
This Thursday, October 11th, the Catholic Church throughout the world will initiate a “Year of Faith,” a year marking the 50th anniversary of the opening of the Second Vatican Council, and the 20th anniversary of the publication of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Perhaps, for many of us, this special Year of Faith can rekindle our faith and our oneness in God, in his gathered people, the Church, and in our spouse – not only for this single year, but also, for the rest of our lives.
In our human mathematics, when one and one are different things, “one plus one makes two”. But when one and one are identical, they can be multiplied and still remain as one. Perhaps we need a touch of a divine mathematics to truly understand what Jesus meant when he prayed: “that all may be one – as you, Father, are in me, and I in you – I pray that they may be one in us.”
Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time; October 7, 2012
Gen 2:1-24; Heb 2:9-11; Mk 10:2-16